She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
