My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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