i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize