Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Randomize
