Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
