I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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