I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
