Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
