please come you make the beer taste better
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
