She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
