There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
