I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
