he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
