so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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