Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
