I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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