oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
