Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
