There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
