Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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