You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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