i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
