I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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