Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
