So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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