I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Be still, my beating vagina.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize