Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize