i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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