i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Randomize
