Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
