The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
