found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
