Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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