I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
