yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
