Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
