Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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