If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
two words: eviction party
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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