I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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