ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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