I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
