they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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