Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
