If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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