I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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