i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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