a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
