Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize