she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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