Christians are straight up FREAKS
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
