So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
The adults are the big ones right?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
