Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
