I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You are the jesus of drinking
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
