Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
