based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
