bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
When are your genitals available?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
