I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
