You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
