the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
