She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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