Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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