We're like a lot better than the average bears
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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