put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
