it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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