remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
