Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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